Preparing for Marriage, Not Just the Wedding Day | Wisdom from a Catholic Wedding Planner

Contributed to the blog by Boizelle Affaires Catholic Wedding Planners based in Washington, D.C., and Virginia.

Photo by Kyla Jeanette Photography

At Boizelle Affaires, we love helping couples plan their dream day. We love helping couples decide what venue provides the perfect setting and which linens will give an elegant touch. We are all about checklists, spreadsheets, and making sure nothing falls through the cracks on a wedding day. We love to pamper our brides and make sure they have the day, and those special moments, they’ve been dreaming of. We cherish all of these things, but we also recognize that marriage is so much more than that one celebratory day.

We take pride in walking alongside couples as they begin the lifelong journey of marriage on their wedding day. Here are some of our own pieces of advice for preparing for marriage, not just the wedding day!

Learn from others 

One of the most effective ways we learn is by example – this goes for marriage too! Every relationship is unique, but many couples face similar stages and trials throughout marriage. Invest in a friendship with a married couple whom you admire and look up to. Hang out with this couple, ask them questions, and listen to their stories. Better yet, seek out multiple couples in different stages of marriage. You will undoubtedly come away with a newfound respect for marriage and maybe even a few tips and tricks to use within your own marriage! 

Seek Guidance

Spend time with a professional marriage counselor or spiritual director. Seeking counsel is not only beneficial for those with pain or unresolved issues, but for everyone. Counselors are trained to help you understand yourself and your fiancé better. Many churches provide counseling that aligns with faith backgrounds. For more resources, check out the following resources: 

Read a book 

Have you ever thought about starting a “book club” with your fiancé? Reading a book alongside your fiancé can provide topics of conversation to discuss as you get ready to start the next chapter together. Make it a fun date night and plan to discuss a chapter of the book over dinner and a glass of wine at your favorite restaurant! There are many marriage books out there from different perspectives. Two of our favorite books include The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller and Called to Love by Carl Anderson and Jose Granados.

Enjoy engagement

The season of engagement is filled with many “to do’s”! You are wedding planning, deciding on registry gifts, booking a honeymoon, and the list goes on. How easy it is to be caught up in it all that you lose sight of simply having fun with your fiancé. Make it a habit of going on regular dates with your fiancé. Do the things that you most enjoyed doing before engagement. Try to savor these moments and don’t always feel the need to cross off an item from the wedding planning checklist. Slowing down will help you soak in this season and not feel like you are sprinting to the wedding day. More than that, it will also help you and your fiancé get into a habit that will hopefully continue into life as a married couple!

Welcome help

Last but not least, accept help. While friends and family members can help with certain elements of the wedding planning process, hiring a professional to at least tie up loose ends and get things organized ahead of the big day will help you focus on your marriage and those final days of sweet engagement before your wedding day! We totally understand how wedding planning can sometimes feel like it is consuming all of your time and energy. During this season there is barely any leftover time to think beyond that wedding date – once the day comes and goes it’s hard to imagine what you will spend your time doing! Our goal as wedding planners is to alleviate stress and allow couples to spend the necessary time preparing for their marriages. Let us handle the details, so you can focus on your relationship. Whether we help you every step of the way or come in during those final months, we are here to help you!

This advice feature was written, and submitted by Boizelle Affaires! Catherine and her team are Catholic wedding planners and coordinators based out of the Washington DC Area. For more of Catherine’s work, visit her profile on the Catholic Bridal Collective. To submit to be featured on our blog, visit the submissions page on our website!

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